The trouble is... I think I'm starting to like it. I mean, how wouldn't I, that is what they're designed for in the first place... On the other hand, I'm absolutely petrified of what might happen in the future if I get fully addicted. Some of my friends went there before, and I can see that it's nothing but misery and pain which they have to face each day.

I come from a pretty wealthy family, and all of my siblings are well-respected business moguls. My parents also have high expectation from me in that regard, but it's safe to say that I'll never get there if I keep going down this wicked road.

I'm asking for some advice here, as I have no one to talk to about it. Please, I cannot go to a rehab center either, as I don't have the money for it, I'm still in high school... Is there a way in which I can deal with these struggles on my own?

Naturally, I felt really tired the next couple of days, but a few good nights of sleep always had me ready to go for another round. It’s important to say that I’ve got a trustworthy “supplier” and that I’m not using the terrible stuff of the streets.

Still, can it do harm to my body? Please answer as truthfully as possible, I’m tired of all the lies.

Fortunately, my roommate was there the whole time, and he was able to calm me down just enough to where the symptoms subsided. I dread of what will happen the next time I take something, but I know that I won’t be able to resist for much longer. I should also mention that besides cocaine, I also enjoy marijuana and alcohol every now and again, as it helps me relax.

The night is coming soon, which is the usual time when I take a little something to calm down, but now I don’t know if I’ll dare to go down that road again. My roommate keeps telling me to slow down, but that’s not up to him, he doesn’t know what it’s like when the urge comes.

The question is, is there a safer alternative to stop the suffering, but not so dangerous to where it will cause my heart to explode?!